I can has TruBlood?

It's fun to stay at the

2009-07-13T21:57:00.001-07:00

LAFAYETTE LIVES!!

2009-06-15T13:33:00.001-07:00

Halleloojahs, Halleloojahs! Thanks, Alan Ball, for sparing one of the most wonderful characters on television...and throwing us book fans a huge curveball!!

Get ready for a full moon!

2009-06-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

Over the hills and far away

2009-05-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hey, folks! Guess what I bought? No, I already have 7 Shamwows...so instead of getting another one of those, I bought True Blood: Music From The Hbo® Original Series on iTunes! To celebrate, I’m going to criticize and mock the selections that were included on the album, and force my picks down your throat instead. Hooray!

In all seriousness, there was so much wonderful, scene-defining music included on this series that it would have been impossible to fit all of it on to even a three-CD set. I am enjoying my copy right now as we speak, but I thought I’d give some love to the overlooked selections from this season. Let’s just call it True Blood: Music From The Hbo® Original Series, Vol 2: AnnaJoy Strikes Back.

1. Cat Power, “Half of You”

When Bill and Sookie finally got down to bumping uglies on Bill’s sweet-ass shag throw rug, a little mood music was in order - I mean, we can’t have S-bomb giving up her v-card to the sounds of creaking floorboards and the hot-water heater turning on in the middle of the night. Since people seem to prefer their huge life events playing out to the sounds of Cat Power (see also: Juno), “Half of You” set the perfect tone for this sweet love scene.

2. Heaven 17, “Don’t Fear The Reaper”

Pam and Eric demand only the finest lightweight Europop covers of classic rock hits for the Fangtasia jukebox.

Note: this video is totally fucking whack, unless you’re on mushrooms or have been huffing glue...in which case it’s incredible.

3. Johnny McGovern a.k.a. The Gay Pimp, “Soccer Practice”

Hey dude/hey dude/I was/thinking/that you could take off all of your clothes and dance around my living room with only a Laura Bush mask on in exchange for drugs. Wot u sez, Jason Stackhouse? You need some tunes before you can do something that dirrrrrtayee? Well, here ya go:

Bonus: This video can often be seen while sucking down a 2am post-dancing hot dog at Hot Rod’s, in between Christina Aguilera and Cher megamixes. Yeah, a hot-dog restaurant next to a gay bar...no double entendres intended there.

4. Eagles of Death Metal, “I Want You So Hard”

If there’s anything I love more than a good song, it’s a good band name – and Eagles of Deah Metal, u haz it. It makes me picture Don Henley and Glenn Frey in Dethklok-esque black metal situations (with Alexander Skarsgard playing Skwisgaar Skwigelf, of course). Uh, what? Oh yeah, this was in the closing credits after Longshadow lunges at Sookie blah blah blah.

5. Lynard Skynard, “That Smell”

So this is a show set in the deep South, and there’s only one Skynard song? Really?! Hopefully they’re saving “Freebird” and “Gimme Three Steps”...and “Tuesday’s Gone” and “Simple Kind of Man” for season two. Either way, Sam (or Dean, if you like) got all sniff-happy in a post-mortem Dawn’s bed to this classic.

6. Johnny Cash, “The Fourth Man”

Hell yeah, it’s about time we got some Man in Black up in this bitch! Johnny Cash is so awesome that he even makes bible stories totally interesting and ass-kicking...and apparently, Jason Stackhouse took this song to heart that night in the car with Amy – if his current involvement with the Fellowship of the Sun is any indicator...

Bonus: the backup singers sound like they're drunk.

7. Blood What True, “Say What It Do”

Okay, I can’t figure this out. Maybe it’s one of those weird viral True Blood things, but I cannot find ANY information on this group/rapper whatsoever. Their myspace is hilariously lo-fi, though – they only have 10 friends. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Either way, who gives a shit? This song is kind of the jam...and it was apparently Lafayette’s jam when he was attempting to, as Tara put it, cut a rug with “the straightest man at this party”.

8. Dixie Chicks, “Lullaby”

I know I’m a cynical, sarcastic bastard that can snark just about anything, but even I have my limits – and frankly, Bill promising to protect Sookie, then sweetly putting his arm over her in bed while this song is playing is it. It’s just too precious for me to crap on.

I will, however, apologize for the creepy video of the Dixie Chicks and their family photos. WTFosaur.

9. The Bangles, “Eternal Flame”

Vampire Eddie should have called up Vampire Bill earlier in the show and taught him a thing or two about romancin’ your loved one - because this 80's slow jam has WIN written all over it, right next to SCORE and slightly below AWESOME. I mean, it worked on Lafayette, right? Well, that and the fact that Eddie was supplying him with v-juice. But I like to think that, ultimately, it was the mighty power of Susanna Hoffs that snagged him.

10. Joan Baez, “Plaisir D’Amour”

Jason may not enjoy this “hippie shit” that girlfriend Amy Burley prefers to drown out the sounds of a screaming, silver-covered vampire in the back of the truck – but the lilting voice of Joan Baez is just sweet and dreamy enough to wash away any reservations one may have about possible vampire homicide.

Fun fact: “Plaisir D’Amour” is an old French standard that was later re-recorded in English – by Elvis Presley, as “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You”. But, you know, UB40 really made it their own.

11. Rufus Thomas, “Walking the Dog”

Naked shapeshifter on your bed? Oh noes! This terrifying happening calls for the musical punctuation of a blues great:

12. Reverend Horton Heat, “Wiggle Stick”

Ah, the old Rev – for now and always until the end of time, he will be making sexin’ music for the greasy-pompadoured, baby-banged, heavily-tattooed rockabilly masses. I guess that wascally Jason Stackhouse had a touch of the old Rev in him that night he plowed the super-classy Randi Sue next to a dumpster outside of Merlotte’s – or maybe it was just drugs. No, it was the Rev.

Okay, I’m pretty sure it was drugs.

Well, folks, there you have it! Actually, there are a lot more, but I’m bored with this post and want to go to Taco Bell. Anyway, you know what the beauty party of all this is? ALL these songs are available for download on iTunes, so you can make your VERY OWN TB extended mix album! But you should never download this stuff on Limewire for free and do it all on yer own. That would be wrong, people.

And hey, did I forget a good one? Let me know in the comments!

Until next time, friends! <3

Well, they were roaming around the forest looking for fights

2009-05-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

Steve Moyer calls Robert Pattinson a pussy!!

2009-05-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

VAMPIRE FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!

Hang on, I'll continue this later

2009-05-17T00:22:00.001-07:00

Employees must be washin hanz b4 returnin 2 wrk

2009-05-16T16:13:00.001-07:00

FearNet Coverage of Paleyfest '09

2009-05-14T17:10:00.001-07:00

They be interviewin mees!!

Imma miss this bitch.

2009-05-07T01:43:00.001-07:00

Hey, sometimes they have good stuff

2009-05-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

Well, that's the last time I ask for a fruity drink in Fangtasia

2009-05-07T01:29:00.000-07:00

I'm getting sad just lookin' at her

2009-05-07T01:22:00.000-07:00

But really, is it that surprising?

I think I do!!

2009-05-07T01:21:00.000-07:00

Don't hurt yourself there, Andy

2009-05-07T01:18:00.000-07:00

They're called antibiotics, Stackhouse

2009-05-07T01:17:00.000-07:00

Don't let them judge you, Alan!! You can't stop the fabulous!!

2009-05-07T01:14:00.000-07:00

She's so happy to be stuck with him

2009-05-06T02:45:00.001-07:00

For the life of me, I cannot figure out what is going on here. ~~Huey~~ Stephen looks pretty pissed about something (although I must give him snaps for the Bon Temps football shirt), but AP is looking at the paps like they've just brought her a chocolate-covered ice cream cone with fairy dust on top. Cheer up, Steve! Don't you know that the heart of rock and roll is still beatin'? Anyway, maybe they're just excited about hanging out with that dude from Lord of the Rings later on. Who knows?

I mean, I'm just sayin'.

Hay gurl!

2009-04-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

I've made my love for Nelsan Ellis and the character of Lafayette pretty clear on this blog and, you know, in life in general. While there's nothing better than attempting to explain the character of a sparkly ghey short-order cook that wears more eyeshadow than I do to my non-English speaking gardener, it seems there may be a better way for us to express our love for the flashy dressing V dealer.

Nelsan is up for the Logo network's NewNowNext award in the category of Brink of Fame:Actor and he needs your vote, which you can do here. In case you live under a rock and you've never heard of Logo, these are the minds who brought us the Lafayette-approved geniusity of RuPaul's Drag Race (which, if you haven't seen, watch right now -- the whole season is online!!) In all seriousness, though, this would be a great way to recognize a wonderful actor who is surely going to be moving on to big things!

And just in case you were on the fence about it...

Everyone has a soft side...even this bitch.

2009-04-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

See? Even Bill agrees with me!!

2009-04-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

ITouchedStephenMoyerFest '09 recap

2009-04-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

Many delayed greetings, vampires and fangbangers! Again, I apologize for my chronic laziness, but it’s constant chaos here at ICHTB manor - pickles to be eaten, kittehs to be cuddled, and past episodes of True Blood to snark. But I’ve promised my two followers a recap of Paleyfest 2009, and like Lafayette with $300 worth of V, I always deliver.

Monday morning started off in our hotel room with excitement and anticipation – hey, we’ve been waiting for this since late 2008, so we were all kinds of pumped for this shindig. We didn’t really know what to expect, but we knew at the very least we were going to be basking in the radiant sexay that is Vampires Bill and Eric, so that in itself was enough for us.

After slapping on 10 lbs of makeup, compulsively futzing with our hair and changing our outfits an umpteen amount of times - I had decided to fligh my geek flag high and proud by wearing my red Fangtasia shirt - we finally managed to get ourselves out to the car and go. After a lovely, lazy, sunny-day drive through Beverly Hills and Hollywood, we arrived at the Arclight theater on Sunset Blvd. We were searching for a parking spot when Andrea started OMG freaking out.

“Whaaaaaaat?” I asked, trying not to hit the hipsters bleeding out of Amoeba Music who seemed intent on playing chicken with my car. Turns out she had seen Kevin Bacon walking down the street with Morgan Freeman. Wow, God and Ren McCormack walking down Sunset together? Who would have thunk it? I turned my head and caught the briefest of glances. Yup, that was them. Only in the parallel universe that is Hollywood. This was to be only the tip of the iceberg - we had no clue how crazy it was going to get for us...

We arrived at the theater and joined a small group of fanatics who were obviously far harder-core than we as they had already staked out their waiting spots much prior to our arrival, bless their hearts. Luckily, there were only about 20 people in line, a number which guaranteed us decent if not good seating.

Shortly after we arrived, several others got in line behind us.

Doors opened at 6pm; it was slightly after 1pm when we sat down. We entertained ourselves by making friends with the other folks in line, listening to music on our iPods, knitting (talk shit about knitting and I will stab you in the arm with a pair of 10's), and weighing the pros and cons of Bill Compton vs. Eric Northman. Shortly after around 2pm, my friends Devon and Wendy from Vampire Nerd arrived and relieved us, allowing us to pursue the local Baja Fresh for our lunchtime pleasure.

Once we’d gotten our grub on, we hunkered down and waited for the action to begin, with the exception of a few brief bathroom breaks and a quick visit to the TrueBloodNe t meet-up at the Arclight restaurant. And before we knew it, it was 6pm and we were ready to roll.

After a slight panic involving a lost ticket, we were inside the theater.

I believe we were about 6 rows back, dead center, which meant we had gotten the best seats possible for the tickets we had bought. The first five rows were reserved for Level 1 ticketholders, and we were Level 2 (all level 1 seats were sold out by the time I had gotten the tickets).

A few minutes after 7pm, the festivities started. A man came up and said a few words about True Blood, Alan Ball and the cast, and then the lights in the theater went down. We were shown a 15-minute reel highlighting the best moments from Season 1, and a sneak peek from season two:

So many questions! What happened at Jessica’s house? Why is Bill being such a stubborn turd? Who is that creature, and what did it do to Sookie? Is Bill going to get naked soon? But perhaps the burning question that’s been weighing the most heavily on all of our minds is - Wtf-ingF is going on with Sookie’s hair?

Oy vey. Look, I know this is supposed to be the South (my apologies to my sexay Southern brothas and sistas), thus the huge hair and all, but even this is taking it too far. Girlfriend looks she got in a fight with a bucket of dollar-store gel and lost.

Lafayette would definitely NOT approve.

Moving along! Members of the cast were called up to the stage one by one. I attempted to get pictures of the cast onstage, but since no flash photography was allowed, you can’t tell if the person in the photos is Sam Trammell or Sam Adams. I did manage to get a few nice shots:

I’m not going to recap the entire panel here; many have already done it and you can google it if you’re truly interested (chances are if you’re reading this, though, you’ve probably already done that). I will, however, highlight some of my favorite parts:

– Stephen Moyer said that he’d mentioned to Alan Ball that he’d thought that since Bill was 170+ years old and had traveled quite a bit, he must have lead a very culturally rich life - reading many books, following the inception of movies and television, and generally being exposed to the best parts of culture the world had to offer. Alan Ball’s interpretation of this was “Bill listens to Cambodian disco and throat-singing”. Stephen said he didn’t make any suggestions about his character after that.

– Alan Ball expanded on Tara’s character, which is a question that I’d had about the series myself - specifically, why give a character who was not even introduced until the second book such a large role in the TV show, and why change her so dramatically from the Tara in the book (book Tara was white and TV Tara is, duh, black). Alan’s response to this was that he believed TV Sookie needed a friend, an ally, and he’d thought that the new Tara would be perfect for her, given her past experiences.

– Alan Ball also expanded on the character of Gram and the subsequent loss thereof. She was a much-loved character, he explained, and although everyone hated to see her go, her death was very important to not only the story arc but also to Sookie’s character development and he had felt that it couldn’t be ignored.

– One audience member asked the cast if they knew how much nudity would be required for the role. Alexander Skarsgard replied that he was Swedish, so he was disappointed that he wasn’t naked more. Later, another audience member asked if we could expect to see Eric in the pink spandex from Living Dead in Dallas, and he over-enthusiastically said he really hoped so.

– Some dum-dum stood up and asked Alan Ball how to get in touch with his casting office and was uncomfortably persistent. The whole room was filled with awkward, but Alan handled it well. I mean, I thought this was PaleyFest, not BegAlanBallForAPartFest. Doi.

The panel seemed to happen incredibly fast, and the mediator announced the end quicker than I expected. It seemed like everyone in the theater bum-rushed the stage like they were handing out free money and I was a bit caught off-guard, but I had a mission: I was absolutely going to get a picture with Stephen Moyer...so I could put a ridiculous caption on it.

I managed to get to the front of the stage where everyone was pushing and shoving like it was 1999 and we were at a Limp Bizkit show. I got some awesome purple shin souvenirs from your freaking out and shoving me against the stage though, crazy wimmens, so thanks for that. But I saw Stephen and I asked him if he’d sign my poster, and he did just that. I asked him for a picture as well, and he knelt down next to me, and I took the picture.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, BITCHEZ.

After I’d taken the picture, Stephen looked into my eyes and said “Look, I can’t carry on with this lie any more. I’d like to invite you to live with me on my private island off the coast of the Bahamas for the rest of our days, where we’ll romp naked on the beach and frolic in the crystal-clear water. No, my darling, there’s no need for us to fly; we’ll take the rainbow highway express. Please, my love, it won’t be worth anything without you.” Well, how can a girl refuse that kind of an offer? I had to agree. Once I gave my approval, Stevie (that’s what he told me to call him, you know) gave a whistle that opened up the ceiling, and a pink-and-purple pegacorn glided onto the stage on a sparkling rainbow. Stevie and I both hopped on it’s back, and we waved to the audience as we flew out of the theater while the mystical creature shat diamonds and glitter on the amazed crowd.

...

Okay, that last part only happened in my brain. But the part about the picture was true.

I got pictures with other members of the cast, too! Here’s the amazing Nelsan Ellis, aka my girl Lafayette:

Ryan Kwanten, a compelte sweetheart with the body of a greek god:

And, for you Viking lovers, here’s the darling and gorgeous Alexander Skarsgard. I asked him if I could have a picture, and he gave me an enthusiastic, “Of course!!” and pulled me into his chest, wrapped his arm around me tightly while I snapped the picture. Mind you, I am 6'2" in my stockinged feet and was about 6'5" in my heels, and he was STILL taller than me:

It was almost enough to make me switch to Team Eric...almost.

Here's the poster everyone signed:

Counterclockwise L to R: Ryan Kwanten (Jason), Carrie Preston (Arlene), Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette), Alexander Skarsgard (Vampire Eric), Sam Trammell (Sam), and Stephen Moyer (Vampire Bill). Note the flippin' sweet flare Steve signed his name with; Vampire Bill likes to put a little flava on his autographs, knowwhatimsayin??

In closing, it was a wonderful night, and I am still amazed that I got to be a part of it. Thanks to everyone involved for making this happen; I hope we’ll be able to do it again next year! I’d also like to give a quick shout out to our new friends MJ and Ross, who waited behind us in line, held our spot, picked up lawn chairs for us to sit in – thank you so much and please get in touch with me if you see this! Also, thanks to Devon and Wendy at Vampire Nerd for just being plain awesome. Lastly, thanks to the kind True Blood fan who paid for our dinner at K24 – I’m not sure who you are, but we appreciate you!! You’re all great and I hope to see you next year!!

Oh hey, did I mention Dave Navarro came out and said hi after dinner?

He did! What a crazy night!!

xoxo
aj

We be gettin famouses!

2009-04-20T18:01:00.001-07:00

Click here to read Devon from VampireNerd's Portland Examiner article mentioning ICHTB!

I can has change of underpants plz?

2009-04-20T16:38:00.001-07:00

An in-depth recap of Paleyfest '09 shortly.

For Liz

2009-02-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

Get well soon, mama.

I been in mah coffins!!11

2009-01-16T14:54:00.001-08:00

I'd like to say I had something like school, or work, or digging through Stephen Moyer's garbage keeping me busy all this time, and that's why I haven't updated in a century or two...but the truth is, I'm just a really lazy bastard.

Anyhow, there are a couple of things going on in the world of True Blood that I wanted to talk about:

First off, Miss Anna Paquin recently nabbed herself a Golden Globe for the role of Sookie Stackhouse. Normally I'd be a sport and congratulate her, but since she insists on dragging the father of my future children to all these chi-chi Hollywood award shows without even asking me if it's okay, I'm just going to have to pretend that the whole thing didn't happen...especially after seeing this picture:

They SOOOOOO cannot wait to get home and have teh viktoree sex0rz.

(Oh, and Golden Globe people -- what were you thinking, robbing Nelsan Ellis like that? Not even a nomination?? FOR SHAME, you bitches. HISSSSSSSS.)

Second, I received an email today from Jean Armitage of the Brentwood Community Theatre in Essex. In case you haven't heard, Stephen Moyer is a patron of this theatre and would be tickled sweet 'n fuzzy (but totally vampirey and masculine) pink if you would consider donating to his fund to support it. Any donations over £25 and you get a certificate signed by teh hawtness himself. Yum! Can mine have a phone number underneath it? Hah! Just kidding! Not really though.

And just in case you're on the fence about it:

For more info, check it out here.

That's all for today, kids. I'll be updating more soon! I promise!!

Oh, and thanks for all your emails...I'm glad you guys are enjoying the site!! Keep 'em coming! xoxo

You'e such a jokester

2008-11-02T09:35:00.001-08:00

But it sure is fun

2008-11-02T09:34:00.001-08:00

This is the last time I use this image, I swarez

2008-11-02T09:33:00.001-08:00

So slick

2008-11-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday!

2008-11-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

You know what today means...an all new episode of True Blood! Hooray!!

Fang Envy

2008-11-01T14:04:00.001-07:00

Whatever, Butters

2008-11-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

whooooooooosh!

2008-11-01T13:52:00.002-07:00

Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking this dude bears more than a passing resemblance to Orlando Bloom

2008-11-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

Like he has any room to talk

2008-11-01T13:30:00.001-07:00

We all know vampeez love a good bath, but this thuggishness is uncalled for

2008-11-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

Depending on who you believe, anyway

2008-11-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

...and so can you!

2008-11-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

The worst part of a pity lay is changing your phone number afterwards

2008-11-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!!

2008-10-31T16:58:00.001-07:00

You can only wonder what the question was

2008-10-28T00:58:00.003-07:00

Does anyone remember the movie "Irreconcilable Differences"?

2008-10-28T00:47:00.001-07:00

You'd think that for $600/day, you could tell the difference between hot and cold.

What a dick.

2008-10-28T00:37:00.000-07:00

Try the punch!

2008-10-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

Finally...someone says something

2008-10-28T00:33:00.000-07:00

Who loves dirt-covered graveyard sex?? I do!

2008-10-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery

2008-10-28T00:29:00.000-07:00

Nothin' to see here

2008-10-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

Awwwwwww...

2008-10-28T00:25:00.000-07:00

That's the last time I let Lafayette cut my hair

2008-10-28T00:23:00.000-07:00

Awww, Sookie Sookie now

2008-10-28T00:21:00.000-07:00

...but I bet Margene is a closet fangbanger

2008-10-27T13:34:00.001-07:00

I hope Stephen Moyer has a sense of humor

2008-10-27T13:24:00.001-07:00

I don't doubt it

2008-10-27T13:21:00.001-07:00

You're treading on thin ice, lady

2008-10-27T13:15:00.001-07:00

You still have some carrots in there though

2008-10-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

You're gonna get it, and you don't even know it

2008-10-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

Yeah you do.

2008-10-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

You'd think they were his first

2008-10-27T13:08:00.000-07:00

Alright, if you insist

2008-10-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

Get a job!

2008-10-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Bill and Sookie's origins, Part 1: AOL chat circa 1996

2008-10-27T12:57:00.002-07:00

Oh Gram, we hardly knew ye

2008-10-27T12:57:00.001-07:00

You have a lot to be sad about when you're dead

2008-10-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

Geez, so defensive

2008-10-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

Girl, U So Sassy!

2008-10-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

Welcome to I Can Has TruBlood!

2008-10-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings and welcome to I Can Has TruBlood, a blog dedicated to the lolling of images from the HBO show True Blood. I get that lol(noun)s have totally jumped the shark, but I prefer to let my geek flag fly high and proud regardless. Besides, who wouldn't want to look at pictures of this guy all day? Yum.